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Let’s talk about math.
Why math? What does it have to do with surviving sexual abuse or assault and working toward experiencing joy in life again? How can math move you toward feeling like you have ownership of your life again?
Here’s what: Suppose you were 25 years old when the traumatic, non-consensual experience occurred.
25 x 365 days = 9,125 days.
Now, this is by no means suggesting that your experience was “only one bad day” out of the thousands you’ve been alive. But if you can look back at any one of those other days — days when you laughed, felt peace, or love for yourself or another — that’s the essence of healing: reclaiming the sense of joy that was always yours.
And with these 10 steps (not necessarily in any particular order), you can begin moving toward feeling whole again. Keep in mind the very important point that healing is not linear, and it’s personal; there is no cookie-cutter approach as to what works. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know that you are not alone in this process.
1. Therapy
Therapy is often the foundation of healing from trauma. The umbrella term of therapy has been more widely accepted in recent years. However, there remains a stigma (or at the very least, a misunderstanding) that therapy is about “fixing” you. This is not the mission of time-tested therapy options. Rather, the objective of therapy is supporting your nervous system and to help your mind feel safe again.
There are many modalities available, including trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), somatic experiencing, and psychedelic-assisted therapy for PTSD.
Select an approach that resonates with your values and level of comfort.
Learn more about therapy options here:
2. Share Your Story
Speaking your truth, even to one trusted person, can be profoundly freeing. Sharing your story helps you transform silence into power. Whether it’s in therapy, through online survivor forums, or in-person support groups, storytelling is an act of reclaiming your voice.
Explore resources and success stories:
3. Help Other Survivors
Supporting others who’ve walked a similar path can bring meaning to your own healing journey. Many survivor advocacy organizations are founded or staffed by survivors who have turned pain into purpose. Giving back, even in small ways, reinforces the truth that you are not defined by what happened to you.
See organizations that empower survivors:
4. Learn About Your Legal Rights
Even if the abuse happened years ago, you may still have legal options. Many states have expanded their statutes of limitations and created lookback windows to allow survivors to come forward when they are ready. Lawmakers are increasingly trauma-informed, recognizing that disclosure takes time (sometimes decades).
Learn more:
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Take Legal Action
Filing a lawsuit can be intimidating, but it’s also a path to empowerment and accountability. Most cases are settled before going to trial, and an experienced attorney can help protect your privacy throughout the process. Make no mistake about it. The money a survivor may be awarded via a settlement or jury trial is important, as it can help pay for costly therapy sessions, missed work opportunities, etc. However, legal action isn’t just about compensation; it’s about reclaiming control and sending a message that silence no longer protects abusers.
If you’re ready to move forward and explore your legal options, SurvivorsRights.com may help connect you with an attorney in the state in which the abuse or assault occurred. You can fill out the secure, confidential form below to receive a free case review.
6. Reconnect With Your Body
Trauma often causes disconnection from one’s body. Reconnecting through movement, mindfulness, yoga, or dance can help restore a sense of safety and self-ownership. Even something as simple as mindful breathing or gentle stretching can remind you: This is my body. It belongs to me.
7. Create a Routine That Nurtures You
Healing requires stability. Establishing simple rituals such as morning walks (ideally with a friend for safety and peace of mind), journaling, or preparing nourishing meals, can bring structure and predictability to your days. These small acts reinforce safety and normalcy.
8. Build a Support Network
You don’t have to heal in isolation. Trusted friends, family, survivor groups, and advocates can help shoulder the emotional weight. Surround yourself with people who see your strength and remind you that you are not defined by trauma.
9. Practice Self-Compassion
Healing is messy. Some days you may feel strong; other days, you may feel fragile and want to throw in the towel and feel sorry for yourself–and that’s ok! Both are part of recovery. Treat yourself with the same gentleness you would extend to someone you love. You have already survived the hardest part! Now. you are learning to live again.
10. Rediscover Joy — On Your Own Terms
Your healing journey is not about “going back” to who you were before. Instead, think about becoming the fullest version of yourself now. Joy may return quietly at first, through laughter, creativity, or connection. On bad days, keep in mind that joy will return.
Final word: You are not broken; you are rebuilding. And every day you choose yourself, you are already healing.