How to help someone who has survived sexual assault, including organizations that can help.
Editor’s note: This article, written by Robin Eveleigh for Positive.News, has been adapted for a USA audience. The original provided resources for UK readers.
Listen with Care and Compassion
You don’t need to be an expert on sexual violence to provide meaningful support. Simply being there, offering a non-judgmental ear, and showing empathy can make an incredible difference for a survivor. Conversations can be emotionally challenging, and survivors may express a range of emotions, but what matters most is that you believe them, respect their boundaries, and remind them that they are not to blame. For helpful guidance on how to listen with care, check out resources from the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).
Help Them Connect with Professionals
When the survivor feels ready, you can assist them in reaching out to a local Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) program. These centers offer support without requiring police involvement, including forensic exams, medical care, emergency contraception, and tests for STIs or pregnancy. Additionally, a Victim Advocate can provide free, confidential assistance, helping them navigate healthcare options and the legal process. RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) is a great resource to help find local services.
Ensure They Understand Their Rights
Sexual assault is a crime, and it includes any sexual act or touching that occurred without consent. If the survivor is unsure about what consent means, RAINN’s page on consent offers clear explanations. If they decide to report to the police, they can request a specialist like a Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) officer to handle their case. If they aren’t ready, a forensic exam can be performed, and evidence can be stored in case they decide to report at a later time.
Provide Practical Support
Practical assistance can go a long way in supporting a survivor. You can offer to accompany them to medical appointments, therapy sessions, or a police station. If they feel unsafe being alone, you might offer to stay with them for a few nights. The key is to ask what kind of help they need and let them remain in control of their decisions. Be patient and understanding if they decline your offers—allow them to take the next steps when they feel ready.
Avoid Judgment and Respect Their Process
Survivors may take time before they feel comfortable sharing what happened. Guilt, shame, or fear of judgment often prevent them from speaking out immediately, so it’s crucial to avoid questioning why they didn’t come forward sooner. Similarly, don’t ask why they didn’t run or fight back—freezing in response to trauma is common. Finally, maintain their confidentiality. Don’t share their experience with anyone unless they give you explicit permission. It’s essential to protect their privacy and let them control how and when their story is shared.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673) is available 24/7, offering free, confidential support. You can also visit RAINN’s website to access additional resources and find local services.
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